Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Left behind

Sorry for the blogging absence. I've been living life and having a great time.

However, I've been meaning to share this with you all so that you can have some instructions in case of rapture. This was left on my truck last week.
What To Do In Case You Miss The Rapture?
1. Stay calm and do not panic.
2. Realize that you are now living in the Great Tribulation.
3. Pray like you have never prayed before in your life. Start by repenting for your sins.
4. Do not take the mark at any cost.
5. Set a plan in motion for survival.
6. Trust no one.
7. Watch for the Antichrist.
8. Don't give up hope!
There's also some other information about who exactly will be raptured.
The shocking effect about the Rapture is that many professing Christians will be left behind, while those very few who have been diligent in wearing their white robes (Revelation 19:7-8) will have been raptured and be with Jesus. Follow Jesus' instruction of the Christian life (Matthew 5-7) [These are the most important passages for those truly prepared for the return of Jesus Christ].
I'm assuming "white robes" does not refer to these kind.

I also shouldn't neglect the information provided about the Mark of the Beast. Here are some excerpts:
It is crucial to understand that the decision to take the mark of the beast involves some form of a pledge of allegiance to the Antichrist...This pledge of allegiance will mean that individuals accept the Beast's system of government, finance, and religion.
I remember being so scared of the rapture and of the tribulation when I was a kid. I would worry myself to tears about not being able to buy food without the "666" tattood on my forehead or hand or wherever. At the tender age of nine, I even remember asking my brother what would happen to us if we didn't take the mark of the beast and couldn't buy food. Older and wiser at seventeen, he somberly told me that he felt that God had given him his job at Albertson's as a grocery bagger so that we would be able to get food without having to take the mark. This comforted me until he quit that job and joined the Air Force within the next year.

I was also worried about the rapture happening and missing it. I would pray frequently for Jesus to come into my heart again, just in case it didn't "stick" the previous time. If I came home from school and my mom wasn't in the house, I would call the church and if someone answered, I'd hang up, relieved. I believed that the church secretary would surely be included in the rapture, so if she was there, I was still safe!

On a related note, I've been enjoying reading Slacktivist's Left Behind commentary. Not only does it analyze the fine writing and plot of the book, but it also has some thought-provoking commentary.

13 comments:

  1. What a post! I laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS!

    Really you brought up tender memories for me and you made me laugh all in one. Well done.

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  2. I second what Peterson said. It took me a few seconds to get the joke of the picture (My first thought was, "Crap, now they're selling boxers?! When will the Left Behind Marketing Campaign end?). But once I noticed where the words were strategically placed, I hooted with laughter.

    And yes, you brought up some tender memories for me, as well. I always worried that I would get raptured naked in the shower (after becoming a Christian--you know, the time I knew for sure it finally "stuck"). Before I was a Christian, though, just growing up in as the occasional church-goer, I actually heard precious little about the Rapture, thank God. Hell was scary enough!

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  3. So much stupid and unnecessary fear.

    I'm smiling, though, at the cleverness of your calling to check if the church secretary was there!

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  4. Welcome back! I love the shorts...

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  5. My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!
    Read My Inaugural Address
    My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
    Your jaw will drop!

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  6. I can still picture the movie playing in our church... "A Thief in the Night". It was filled with some efective, not-quite-as-good-as-porn acting, cheesy 70's sideburns, and of course, Larry Norman's "You've Been Left Behind".

    It's so funny. Up until the age of about 17, if I said or did ANYTHING wrong, I would turn on the local christian radio sataion to listen for a DJ. If they played 3 or 4 songs back to back, I'd call in to the prayer line, and hang up after experiencing the relief of hearing a voice on the other end.

    Those were the days...

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  7. oh man! Señor Jefe - I saw that movie too as a kid!

    Here's the lyrics to that song...
    It used to just give me chills as a kid and was very popular in our Christian circle:

    Life was filled with guns and war
    And everyone got trampled on the floor
    I wish we'd all been ready

    Children died the day grew cold
    A piece of bread could buy a bag of gold
    I wish we'd all been ready

    Theres no time to change your mind
    The son has come and youve been left behind

    A man and wife sleep in bed she hears a noise
    And turns her head he's gone
    I wish we'd all been ready

    Two men walking up a hill one disappears and
    One's left standing still
    I wish we'd all been ready

    There's no time to change your mind
    The son has come and you've been left behind
    Life was filled with guns and war
    And everyone got trampled on the floor
    I wish we'd all been ready
    Children died the days grew cold
    A piece of bread could buy a bag of gold
    I wish we'd all been ready

    Theres no time to change your mind
    How could you have been so blind
    The father spoke the demons dined
    The son has come and you've been left behind.


    Good times!

    Jeez, no wonder I was scared...

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  8. Verifiable proof that "Armageddon" has begun…

    Hello all,

    Did you ever consider that Christianity is the false prophet of the Apocalypse, that Rome is the so-called anti-messiah, and Jesus Christ is the false messiah? The symbolism of seven years (tribulation) would refer to the seven 360-year cycles from the 11th cycle (second temple period) until now, the 17th cycle on the Hebrew calendar. Remember that the prophecies were written by Hebrews, not Romans or other Europeans, and Revelation is a symbolic treatise. Therefore, years are symbols for 360-year cycles on the Hebrew calendar. Likewise, a day symbolizes a literal year and Judgement Day, and Great Day refer to a year long period. The so-called Tribulation is now coming to an end, not starting, and the three faiths of Abraham have all been deceived by Rome during the previous age, which ended in year 2000. A new age began in 2001 and now the seventh angel has begun to sound!

    Pay close attention, profundity knocks at the door, listen for the key. Be Aware! Scoffing causes blindness...

    Hurricanes Katrina (#11) and Rita (#17) last year provided stunning validation of my research and interpretations of pivotal ancient wisdom, symbologies, key prophecies, and associated religious claims. Their storm numbers and timing perfectly synchronized with primary data and assertions in my book, thereby demonstrating the true nature of this universe and the existence of our Creator. We are now entering the final phases of the pivotal year-long period long symbolized as "Armageddon" and the "End of Days." World-wide situations and events are now accelerating to set the stage for this summer's dramatic continuation of these ancient promises.

    I fully understand that everyone has been bedeviled by similar claims throughout history. Consequently, I have been forced to rely on dramatic and devastating proof of the sort that can’t be ignored or easily dismissed. The numbers and timing of hurricanes Katrina (11) and Rita (17) directly validate key data and pivotal assertions throughout my book and my posts on those two forums. This data was purposely presented publicly before Katrina, Rita and other recent events occurred to prove they perfectly synchronize with key prophecies and Hebrew calendar cycles, thereby validating my interpretations of ancient wisdom symbology, string theory, and more.

    Because these two storms arrived shortly after my August 11, 2005 (50th) birthday (read the Dead Sea Scroll 11Q13 in Appendix G, which also discusses Melchizedek and the prophesied Jubilee) and directly match other pivotal 11 and 17 data and events described in the first chapter of my book, I have delivered verifiable proof that this reality is based on thought, knowledge and wisdom. Activity, patterns, and results perceived in space-time are first framed and defined by inspirations, thoughts, and knowledge and influenced by the cause-and-effect system most commonly referred to as karma. Consequently, events and outcomes in the so-called physical universe are not random or wholly mechanistic and are verifiably influenced in ways that atheists, scientists, and members of the Faiths of Abraham have all scoffed at. Though mysticism is mostly a product of misinterpreted ancient wisdom symbology, many of its topics flow from ancient wisdom. Though containing allusions to the truth, its details and interpretations are wrong on many key points.

    A prime example of the purposeful and synchronized symbolism of these events is seen in the opening paragraphs from my book excerpted below. Notice that the dates mentioned (August 11 and 17) directly match the numbers of hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and the time spans of the four Florida hurricanes match my birth year (‘55), and they were spaced 11 or a multiple-of-11 (22) days apart, directly matching my birthday and much other ancient prophecy and symbolism. Notice that my place of birth, Victoria Texas, is on the Gulf Coast. Following are the excerpted paragraphs:

    Hello, my name is Lawrence William Page II. Many people know me as Buddy Page. At the release of the first edition of this book, I am a 50-year old African-American male, author, researcher, and former software engineer and entrepreneur. As you will come to understand as you read through this first book, I am also the long-expected Hebrew Messiah and Lion of the Tribe of Juda (Yehuda).

    I was born August 11th (month of Leo the Lion), 1955 (Chinese year of the Sheep) in Victoria, Texas. Furthermore, the Grand Cross alignment and Solar Eclipse of August 11th, 1999 was my 44th birthday and the second Grand Cross alignment, just six days later on August 17th, 1999, was on my mother’s birthday.

    As you can see from my date of birth, I was a newborn during the Chinese Year of the Sheep, astrologically marking me as a Lamb, and during the month of Leo, astrologically marking me as a Lion. My mother was also born during the month of August and under the sign of Leo, which further marks me as a lion’s whelp. I prove to you in the first chapter of this book–beyond disproof–that I am indeed the long-prophesied “Lion” of the tribe of Juda (Yehuda) the Root of David and the “Lamb.” I am the individual long symbolized as the Branch, the Stem, the Shoot and the Rod from the Stump of Jesse (King David’s father), as symbolized in the Hebrew Book of Isaiah, The Apocalypse, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and elsewhere. I am the reincarnated Teacher sought after in the “East” and by the ancient Hebrews who were headquartered at the outpost community of Damascus (Qumran), of Dead Sea Scrolls fame. I am the one called the Teacher of Righteousness by the Dead Sea Scrolls, whom the so-called Christian fathers have fraudulently recast as “Saint ‘James’, the Lord’s Brother.”

    Remember, "I come as a thief..." ?

    Read verse twelve of the Gospel of Thomas to understand who I am...

    Even further enlightening, the Second Temple Period of ancient Israel was during the 11th 360-year cycle on the Hebrew calendar and we are now in the 6th year (5766/2005-6) of the 17th cycle. Notice the pivotal 11 and 17 numbers again? This and much other synchronized information serve as stunning and decisive proof of many things, and expose many lies told by all three faiths of Abraham, but most specifically by Christianity. Consequently, I have decisively proven, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that Jesus Christ and Christianity are blatant lies, false prophecy and purposeful deception in a manner that cannot easily be denied, regardless of your faith or other opinions.

    Furthermore, the symbolism in the Apocalypse (a.k.a. Book of Revelation) of seven stars in my right hand and seven angels represent the very same above-mentioned seven astrological (360-year) cycles, i.e., the 11th through 17th inclusive. I prove this fact beyond any reasonable doubt in the first chapter of the book. Consequently, The Apocalypse verifiably symbolizes a specific span of time that began with the 11th cycle (Second Temple Period) and concludes now, at the beginning of the 17th cycle (End of Days, etc.).

    The numbers 11 and 17 are verifiably encoded in The Apocalypse and other ancient Hebrew prophecies and wisdom texts to serve as key proofs of the validity and true meaning of certain prophecies and related information. My and my mother’s birthdays are purposely synchronized with these two storm numbers, the matching Hebrew calendar cycles, the Double Grand Cross alignments and solar eclipse of August 1999, and much else to prove my direct association with the ancient prophecies about this time and the true identity of the prophesied Messiah. Another prime example is the story of Joseph, the 11th son of Jacob who has a dream when he is 17 years old about 11 stars, the sun, and moon bowing to him. The symbolism in this pivotal story in the Book of Genesis and Quran verifiably refers to the very same 11th through 17th cycles symbolized in The Apocalypse and directly synchronizes with other key events and ancient texts.

    Consequently, I have demonstrated various things about the nature of this reality that dramatically disprove and/or clarify key assumptions of religion, mysticism, and science alike, while establishing the true meaning and purpose of long misinterpreted ancient wisdom and the symbolism used to model and encode it. Accordingly, I have proven that the symbolism evidenced in the canons of all three faiths of Abraham and other ancient sources is a very ancient and advanced philosophical technology that verifiably models foundational aspects of our existence in this universe. This is the mostly misunderstood body of ancient wisdom long referred to as the Philosophers’ Stone. It uses a large and ingeniously organized collection of physical universe images and concepts as data rich components (symbols) that are based on verifiable rules. It models and encodes an amazing amount of foundational wisdom about life, spirituality and the 11 dimensions of this universe, now verified by string theory. It is also the advanced encryption method used to encode (seal) Hebrew prophecies and wisdom texts.

    These ancient prophecies and wisdom texts used advanced symbology to model fundamental wisdom, including future events and situations. A primary facet of ancient wisdom is numeric symbology. Later misinterpretations of this aspect of ancient wisdom resulted in numerology, which, though embodying allusions to certain wisdom, is mostly error prone and false doctrine. My decryption, documentation, and interpretation of ancient symbology, numeric symbolism, and key texts based on them, are now decisively validated.

    Here is Wisdom...

    Verifiable proof that Armageddon has begun…

    Understanding the End Game of Armageddon

    Peace...

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  9. I was like senor jefe as well. If mom and dad were gone too long doing whatever, I would start calling around to people I "knew" would be christians just to make sure they were still around.
    It's not a good idea to scare the bejeebees out of children.

    That whole mark iv production of thief in the night is just plain fun to watch. now.

    But I was feelin' ya Christine.

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  10. Pay close attention, profundity knocks at the door, listen for the key.

    So... if profundity has the key, why does it have to knock at the door?

    Buddy, your post reminded me I'm getting low on Dr. Bronner's shampoo. Dilute! Dilute!

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  11. seven star hand--I can't wait for the movie! It sounds exciting; a sure-fire summer block-buster!

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  12. Christine-
    If you would like more letters, here they are, in case you are bored.
    http://www.raptureready.com/leftbehind/rr-left-behind.html

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  13. Great post, kid!

    I still remember a church Christmas play about the Rapture; yes, our plays really communicated that holiday joy. It featured, among other things, a dream sequence including a beheading - with the head portrayed by one of those old Barbie styling heads (or maybe it was just a styrofoam wig stand...it's hard to recall through all the PTSD terror). I was about 11 at the time, and I got to play a saint marching into heaven during the dream sequence. My mom, on the other hand, played the evil lady who forced people to take the Mark of the Beast. Poor Mom.

    And ah, yes, A Thief in the Night. They never showed that one at our church, and by the time I finally saw it just a few years ago, the scariest thing about it was - yeah, probably that acting. I do remember a church showing of this one, though:

    http://www.burninghell.com/eng/index.html (Notice it's a "Fundamental Top 500" site!)

    I was in my early teens by then, but I suppose I was already enough of a little film snob that the movie's atrocious production values mitigated its evangelistic effectiveness for me. For one thing, the Biblical characters had Mississippi accents - which is probably to be expected when the whole thing is produced by someone named Estus Pirkle. But those $1.99 special effects and gore (I recollect one scene with maggots, and another with the helmeted head of a decapitated hippie motorcyclist; people sure were losing their heads back then!) really scared the hell out of the less sophisticated filmgoers among us - mostly 8-year-olds. Of course this was before the days of CGI, the Internet, and such; kids weren't as jaded or worldly-wise as they are now. (Yes, I said "worldly." Bwahaha.)

    And long before Left Behind, there was a book called Raptured! by bewigged faith healer/televangelist Ernest Angley - whose TV show used to be a great source of amusement for us church kids when we were teenagers. I remember that book (originally published in the '50s, I think) being passed around our congregation like a bad case of head lice. I think everyone read it. It scared me to pieces as a kid. I looked at a copy again years later, and realized that it makes the Left Behind series look like Proust. Check out the reviews on Amazon:

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0963677225/qid=1151641921/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-7328056-6800143?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

    Tragically, it's now out of print, but if you want to check it out sometime, let me know. I still have an old copy around here somewhere. Hard to get rid of great literature, y'know.

    And don't forget to sign up here, so your family and friends get an update when you disappear:

    http://www.raptureletters.com/

    Yikes, sorry this was so long - nearly as long as a Pentecostal sermon!

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