tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post114454166951479554..comments2024-01-16T16:13:19.628-07:00Comments on Rising Up Whole: Let me sum upChristine Bakkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14262976600427879137noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1145413353372148612006-04-18T20:22:00.000-06:002006-04-18T20:22:00.000-06:00Oh Hon, I am so sorry :( I have been there. I kno...Oh Hon, I am so sorry :( I have been there. I know what you are going through and how painful it is. Mentally and emotionally, it really does feel like the physical death of a loved one. My situation is just a little different. I still talk to my parents and we occasionally spend time together, but I have mourned for the part of them that I have lost. My heart goes out to you and I pray that you will heal quickly through all of this. Know that I and many others are pulling for you.Nonsequiturhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18173868118973875988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1145060670953800732006-04-14T18:24:00.000-06:002006-04-14T18:24:00.000-06:00Jimbo, Data, Peterson, Rick, Jeanine, Rev. Mike, M...Jimbo, Data, Peterson, Rick, Jeanine, Rev. Mike, Mark (and A), Scholiast, Jim, Liadan, Jules, David....and all the others who have supported me by phone and e-mail:<BR/><BR/>Thank you all so much. I really appreciate all the support and kind words and offers of a listening ear. It really does help. Thanks to all of you...many hugs.Christine Bakkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14262976600427879137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144959159162186332006-04-13T14:12:00.000-06:002006-04-13T14:12:00.000-06:00I am leading a grief support group that has a numb...I am leading a grief support group that has a number of folks dealing with what we call "disenfranchised grief" -- which you describe so perfectly in your blog.<BR/><BR/>That is meant to say that "I hear you" ... and, you are in my thoughts and prayers.<BR/><BR/>(((((hug)))))<BR/><BR/>David<BR/><BR/>(AKA DeweytheDoggie)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144935496107286302006-04-13T07:38:00.001-06:002006-04-13T07:38:00.001-06:00Hey girl and with you in spirit wish we weren't se...Hey girl and with you in spirit wish we weren't seas apart.<BR/>I admire your courage and strength i know it is hard......know you are loved julesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144892754035166952006-04-12T19:45:00.000-06:002006-04-12T19:45:00.000-06:00Oh geez. I hurt for you reading this. Whoever's te...Oh geez. I hurt for you reading this. Whoever's telling you to "get over it and move on" should be poked in the eye with a sharp stick and told to get over that.<BR/><BR/>Even though your parents aren't dead, they're in a sense "dead to you," so it makes perfect sense for you to be grieving. It's a bit like someone who's "missing and presumed dead"-- you don't even have a body for closure.Liadanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00553926314903191298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144696510672749462006-04-10T13:15:00.000-06:002006-04-10T13:15:00.000-06:00I'm so sorry you have to do this, yet it seems una...I'm so sorry you have to do this, yet it seems unavoidable. Hopefully you'll be able to move on, as you hope, and find other family connections for yourself!<BR/><BR/>*hugs*Scholiasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10219626585108690444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144696484704803462006-04-10T13:14:00.000-06:002006-04-10T13:14:00.000-06:00Sweetie, I'm so sorry. You've given it your best ...Sweetie, I'm so sorry. You've given it your best shot. You can only control what you do and the decisions *you* make. <BR/><BR/>It just sucks. Nothing can take the place of parents ... especially having to say goodbye to them in this way. The appear to be emotionally dead and incapable of responding in a healthy loving way. <BR/><BR/>Wishing it were otherwise and glad to you're taking steps to move on.<BR/><BR/>If you ever need a weekend away, we're here.<BR/><BR/>Hugs,<BR/>M & AMarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06559254262445527142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144687755128267462006-04-10T10:49:00.000-06:002006-04-10T10:49:00.000-06:00I think the ritual you have planned is a good idea...I think the ritual you have planned is a good idea.<BR/>We mark physical deaths with rituals of closure; wakes, funerals, memorial services. They're not for the person who's died, but for those who are left.<BR/>Emotional death is no less painful and the grief is just as real, yet there are no automatic societal closure rituals.<BR/>Maybe it would be useful to pen something to recite something during the burial. Perhaps something that acknowledges your pain and grief, and something that speaks of the hope in moving forward.<BR/>Good luck!<BR/>Peace,<BR/>Rev. MikeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144638421719379932006-04-09T21:07:00.000-06:002006-04-09T21:07:00.000-06:00Here's another hug coming your way!And I also admi...Here's another hug coming your way!<BR/><BR/>And I also admire and respect your integrity.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there!<BR/>JeanineAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144632938788391352006-04-09T19:35:00.000-06:002006-04-09T19:35:00.000-06:00Sigh... I'm so sorry to read the current chapter i...Sigh... I'm so sorry to read the current chapter in the ongoing painful drama around your relationship with your parents. You deserve to be loved unconditionally by all the important people in your life, Christine, and I join Jimbo and data in giving you a much-needed hug.Jeffinohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02206112789449665849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144585513060528352006-04-09T06:25:00.000-06:002006-04-09T06:25:00.000-06:00Christine, the actual death of someone we love (if...Christine, the actual death of someone we love (if they hurt us or not) can be so much easier than the death of a realationship with a living person who is still out there in the world somewhere. <BR/><BR/>I marvel at your integrity to your process and your refusal to take short cuts even when it means that much more pain. Seeing you "eat your shadows" inspires me as I eat my own. <BR/><BR/>thanks for being you and thank you for sharing this with all of us.Peterson Toscanohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18189029949905668568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144581405395426572006-04-09T05:16:00.000-06:002006-04-09T05:16:00.000-06:00Thank you, for sharing, I understand.(((((((((HUGS...Thank you, for sharing, I understand.<BR/><BR/>(((((((((HUGS))))))))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17347827.post-1144580254051560282006-04-09T04:57:00.000-06:002006-04-09T04:57:00.000-06:00((Hugs))((Hugs))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com