And what a year it was

This has been the year that I really began to make my own acquaintance.

I was looking over my old journal entries tonight and sit amazed at the journey I've taken over the last few years; but especially how I've started coming into my own over the past year.

I found something I wrote in one of my old entries:

as i am right now
is when i learn to love me--
my heart unclenches

I am still unclenching and stretching and learning to love myself. I imagine I will be until the day I die.

This time last year I wrote a very bighugeimportant letter that freed me in some significant ways. And although it didn't have the hoped for result, I don't regret it.

I took my first real vacation in years and stopped long enough to hear my own thoughts.

I made a conscious decision to stop listening to the damaging words that had been spoken over me. I decided to attach new words and new thoughts to my life.

I came out of the tomb and began the smelly process of removing the grave clothes. I re-came out as a lesbian, and kept on coming out all year. I'm no longer ashamed of who I am. I refuse to identify myself any longer with the damaging ex-gay mindset of brokenness and inferiority. I came out free, naked and in my right mind.

I marched with Soulforce at Focus on the Family. I started telling my story.

I rediscovered my love of camping and the outdoors. I started to hear again the small voice of the artist within.

I met some really wonderful friends. Existing friendships have been deepened. I have started creating my own supportive family.

It's been a good year. A great year, actually. A growing year. A heart-growing year. And aren't those the best kind?